How to talk to someone with Alzheimer's Disease

Nancy Reagan famously called Alzheimer's disease "the long goodbye." For the families of the estimated 5 million people who suffer this tragic and brutal disease, those words are painfully true. In Chicago this week, some of the greatest minds in the field of Alzheimer's research and treatment are meeting at the International Conference on Alzheimer's disease.

In the midst of the all the talk about the best way to treat the disease, researchers are discussing the best way to treat people. A study released today suggests that patients –even those who may seem extremely confused and disoriented – hate being patronized and treated like children. Often, they rebel, by lashing out or wandering off. Patients with Alzheimer's disease are twice as likely to be resistant to care when health care workers use “elder speak” versus normal talk, according to the study's author, Kristine Williams of the University of Kansas School of Nursing.

"Health care workers think that this helps," says Williams, "but the message patients hear is that they are incompetent." When a person with Alzheimer's lashes out, says Williams, "it is not about being bad, it is more about their needs not being met."

So what are some things you should keep in mind when talking with someone who has Alzheimer's? Williams offers these tips.

1. Communicate at the appropriate level.
For someone in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, give the person the chance to communicate as much as he or she wants to. Ask open-ended questions, suggests Williams. But for someone whose disease is further along, it is best to ask simple yes and no questions.

2. Think about the environment

If you are trying to have a serious talk with a loved one, find a quiet place. Turn off the TV. Close the door. Limit distractions. Williams says you are more likely to have a meaningful conversation if you do that.

3. Pay attention to YOUR body language

Establish eye contact from the start. Let the person know you are really listening to what they have to say. Even if it takes an hour, allow time to respond. That, says Williams, shows you respect the individual and are willing to listen to what he or she has to say.