These days it seems as if we all know someone with cancer. The American Cancer Society says nearly 1.5 million new cancer cases were reported in the U.S. last year. It wasn’t until I interviewed Dr. Bernadine Healy, a survivor of brain cancer, that I learned there is a special way that friends and loved ones can reach out and confort someone facing the illness. In her book, Living Time, Dr. Healy, a former director of the National Institutes of Health, offers these tips on proper cancer etiquette. 

1) Speak from the heart. This is a tender time. A few tender sentences will long be remembered. How about: “I care about you” or “I’m here for you.”

2) Think before you speak. Your friend or loved one is dealing with a serious illness. You may think you’re being kind, but are you? Try saying “I can only imagine how tough this is, but I respect how you have faced this time.”

3) Encouraging words and praise. Don’t be afraid to praise the heroism of the person facing cancer. Let them know you admire their strength.

4) Don’t count them out. Don’t be too quick to write off a friend or loved one with cancer by asking about his or her long-term prognosis. Cancer has a mind of its own. Try not to use the words terminal, incurable, hopeless or salvage.

Finally, Healy says, “How you think and talk will influence how you relate…imagine that you’re the patient; what would you want someone to say to you?”

Judy Fortin’s Health Minute segment runs daily on Headline News from 10am to 6pm ET weekdays.